Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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