I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
