I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
