mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
