After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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