You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
