halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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