she woke up with a sticky ear
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
