I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
