I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
