I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
