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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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