Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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