Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
