At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
