He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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