Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my liver is dry heaving
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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