I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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