Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
