You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
