my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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