Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
