I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
