I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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