I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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