I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
