I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
