I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
