jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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