Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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