i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
