i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
only you would photoshop your dick
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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