Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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