the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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