that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
