I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
