I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
