I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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