We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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