whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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