ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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