So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
