I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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