I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
