So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
