I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
