grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
