I wish you could order shots online.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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