When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
