idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
