I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
