Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
