I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
