Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
