I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
