i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
