i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
