I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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